While on the treadmill this morning....a good time to think and pray...I was considering a current situation in my life that has caused me great emotional pain and spiritual challenge.
My musings:
OK...(Heb 11:1) Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Got it.
However...I'm a "visual" person. I lear best when I can SEE stuff. Could that be part of the reason faith can sometimes be such a challenge for me" Do I KNOW He is working? Absolutely. But I want to SEE it...or at least a sign of it...or something...anything...
Next:
This same situation has caused great fear in my life recently. Not fear for myself (although what happens to the one I fear for DOES greatly impact my life). I fear for another person...an innocent.
So many questions!
While she has shown great insight into the heart and love of her Abba, is she strong enough in her faith to withstand the onslaught of dysfunction in which she currently find herself? Why am I so afraid that her fledgling faith will crumble under the pressure? Perhaps because I am suffereng and sometime so close to crumbling? and I've been a Follower for decades...
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear hat to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." -- I John 4:18
Well, that's me..."the one who fears." But it is no surprise to anyone that MY love is not perfect:: and in the KJV the verse says "for fear hath torment." No kidding! Such torment is no stranger these days. But it is not SUPPOSED to be my companion.
Perfect Love...
That can only be HIM! HIS love is perfect.
OK...so what do I do with that?
Do I believe He lover her perfectly? YES
Do I believe He loves her even more than I do? YES
Do I believe He cares for and protects the Innocents? YES
So I fear because...????? Well, obviously the failing is on my part, not His. Now what do I do? Or perhaps a better question for a soul who is "being still"...How am I supposed to BE?
Because just now I can't SEE if she is protected, surviving and standing firm.
But is it my RIGHT to see?? Well...since I don't I can only surmise that the answer to that is NO.
So I wander on in faith...without fear. Well...at least I endeavor to do that.
Now you want to know the amazing love of my Abba? This weekend, we get to see her!! Even in spite of my frail and feeble struggle to be who I'm supposed to be in all this...HIS perfect love is taking "visual" steps to quench that fear andlet me SEE His perfect love at work.
And after this...I can only hope in His divine grace to keep working in my strangled little heart to trust HIS love for her and find a PEACE that passes all understanding...HIS peace..the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, that will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.
My musings:
OK...(Heb 11:1) Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Got it.
However...I'm a "visual" person. I lear best when I can SEE stuff. Could that be part of the reason faith can sometimes be such a challenge for me" Do I KNOW He is working? Absolutely. But I want to SEE it...or at least a sign of it...or something...anything...
Next:
This same situation has caused great fear in my life recently. Not fear for myself (although what happens to the one I fear for DOES greatly impact my life). I fear for another person...an innocent.
So many questions!
While she has shown great insight into the heart and love of her Abba, is she strong enough in her faith to withstand the onslaught of dysfunction in which she currently find herself? Why am I so afraid that her fledgling faith will crumble under the pressure? Perhaps because I am suffereng and sometime so close to crumbling? and I've been a Follower for decades...
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear hat to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." -- I John 4:18
Well, that's me..."the one who fears." But it is no surprise to anyone that MY love is not perfect:: and in the KJV the verse says "for fear hath torment." No kidding! Such torment is no stranger these days. But it is not SUPPOSED to be my companion.
Perfect Love...
That can only be HIM! HIS love is perfect.
OK...so what do I do with that?
Do I believe He lover her perfectly? YES
Do I believe He loves her even more than I do? YES
Do I believe He cares for and protects the Innocents? YES
So I fear because...????? Well, obviously the failing is on my part, not His. Now what do I do? Or perhaps a better question for a soul who is "being still"...How am I supposed to BE?
Because just now I can't SEE if she is protected, surviving and standing firm.
But is it my RIGHT to see?? Well...since I don't I can only surmise that the answer to that is NO.
So I wander on in faith...without fear. Well...at least I endeavor to do that.
Now you want to know the amazing love of my Abba? This weekend, we get to see her!! Even in spite of my frail and feeble struggle to be who I'm supposed to be in all this...HIS perfect love is taking "visual" steps to quench that fear andlet me SEE His perfect love at work.
And after this...I can only hope in His divine grace to keep working in my strangled little heart to trust HIS love for her and find a PEACE that passes all understanding...HIS peace..the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, that will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.
