hmmmmm let's see.....no sooner do I get this blog designed and ready to start than the first stone in the pathway appears. Just to be sure I'm learning I suppose??? My husband just called to tell me the clutch went out on his car. Have to admit my first response in my heart was, "Seriously?????? All we need is a new expense!!" But having just been immersed all morning in Eucharisteo, my heart found a new answer to this challenge....
I am so thankful we have discovered trustworthy mechanics close to home to take the car to!
I am so thankful for having re-joined AAA so they can tow the car to these wonderful mechanics of integrity!
OK...so I'm starting just where I am today. That would make these #1 and #2 on my travel journal I suppose so here goes........
#1 - We have discovered trustworthy mechanics close to home to take the car to!
#2 - Having re-joined AAA so they can tow the car to these wonderful mechanics of integrity!
And so the journey begins.......
#3 - Abba's perfect timing in bringing this to me on the very day I have dubbed as "the first day of my New Life"!
#4 - The faithfulness of a long-time friend to share all this with me. Listening to God telling her to pass it on.
The past several years have been more than trying and challenging. I have on some days succeeded in maintaining some modecum of sanity. On many others I have dissolved into a heap of pain and dispair, quivering on the floor, seeking hope, seeking understanding. None was to be found on those days (or at least none I could comprehend). Recent months have brought a "perfect storm" of hurt, pain, anger, losses, fear and mourning. I knew I could not live in this state long and survive with any form of what could possibly pass for a life. I had to let go as much as humanly possible and struggle to find out what my life is to look like now...digging out...moving on...
Thankfully, being an artist, I have so many expressive and creative outlets to bury myself in to ward off the tears and pain. That was my original plan anyway. And I CAN get lost in my art without much effort at all. The downside to this plan was that eventually, the quiet times would come. The times when I have to face what is left of my life. One can only dance so fast and so long. (Reminds me of one of my favorite sayings "I'm dancing as fast as I can!" to describe the overwhelming effort to keep up...with everything....with anything)
Now with the thrill of heading out on an unplanned, exciting new adventure, I begin this journey to discover TRUE joy. No longer interested in just passing as joyful...with strained smile and torn heart. But the TRUE joy which only Abba can help me discover in my own life. The healing that only He can bring. And it IS a thrill I start with instead of the determination to make it work. I'm thrilled to see just how He is going to work it all out in my heart, finding His face and handiwork all around me again. Depending on HIM and not on myself.
My hope is also that you will go with me...because I know that whatever HE does will bring strength and joy to your heart as well. Want to come along for the ride...the adventure? Here is a link to the blog post that started all this for me: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/09/when-its-all-pressing-too-much-youd-like-answers/ Needless to say, the title grabbed my attention. I hope you will read it sometime soon.
Now to add to the list with some of the thanks I found myself pondering today...this first day of my new journey.........
#5 - Abba shared with me His creative nature and helped me see the artist He placed inside me long ago...now unburied
#6 - A lifemate, my wonderful husband. Not only is he all I ever wanted...he is all I ever needed as a husband
#7 - Our second son who is already living in perfect joy with Abba
#8 - KNOWING that I will not forever be separated from him. See you soon Beffer.
#9 - KNOWING that as of a month ago, my wonderfully sweet, kind and loving dad joined him. I often picture them together.
#10 - The blessing of TRUE and close "sisters of the heart". How could I travel without you wonderful women!
#11 - A spiritual foundation, built and fostered over many generations before me and hopefully many after me.
#12 - Children of Abba who are so wonderfully adept at sharing their stories and the lessons they have learned - so those of us less talented can read them and see guideposts along the path.
I know I have a long way to go to get to 1000 (and way beyond I would imagine) but even this small first step has brought raindrops of hope to a very dry and parched soul. I just might even see the beginnings of a new blossom forming........
I am so thankful we have discovered trustworthy mechanics close to home to take the car to!
I am so thankful for having re-joined AAA so they can tow the car to these wonderful mechanics of integrity!
OK...so I'm starting just where I am today. That would make these #1 and #2 on my travel journal I suppose so here goes........
#1 - We have discovered trustworthy mechanics close to home to take the car to!
#2 - Having re-joined AAA so they can tow the car to these wonderful mechanics of integrity!
And so the journey begins.......
#3 - Abba's perfect timing in bringing this to me on the very day I have dubbed as "the first day of my New Life"!
#4 - The faithfulness of a long-time friend to share all this with me. Listening to God telling her to pass it on.
The past several years have been more than trying and challenging. I have on some days succeeded in maintaining some modecum of sanity. On many others I have dissolved into a heap of pain and dispair, quivering on the floor, seeking hope, seeking understanding. None was to be found on those days (or at least none I could comprehend). Recent months have brought a "perfect storm" of hurt, pain, anger, losses, fear and mourning. I knew I could not live in this state long and survive with any form of what could possibly pass for a life. I had to let go as much as humanly possible and struggle to find out what my life is to look like now...digging out...moving on...
Thankfully, being an artist, I have so many expressive and creative outlets to bury myself in to ward off the tears and pain. That was my original plan anyway. And I CAN get lost in my art without much effort at all. The downside to this plan was that eventually, the quiet times would come. The times when I have to face what is left of my life. One can only dance so fast and so long. (Reminds me of one of my favorite sayings "I'm dancing as fast as I can!" to describe the overwhelming effort to keep up...with everything....with anything)
Now with the thrill of heading out on an unplanned, exciting new adventure, I begin this journey to discover TRUE joy. No longer interested in just passing as joyful...with strained smile and torn heart. But the TRUE joy which only Abba can help me discover in my own life. The healing that only He can bring. And it IS a thrill I start with instead of the determination to make it work. I'm thrilled to see just how He is going to work it all out in my heart, finding His face and handiwork all around me again. Depending on HIM and not on myself.
My hope is also that you will go with me...because I know that whatever HE does will bring strength and joy to your heart as well. Want to come along for the ride...the adventure? Here is a link to the blog post that started all this for me: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/09/when-its-all-pressing-too-much-youd-like-answers/ Needless to say, the title grabbed my attention. I hope you will read it sometime soon.
Now to add to the list with some of the thanks I found myself pondering today...this first day of my new journey.........
#5 - Abba shared with me His creative nature and helped me see the artist He placed inside me long ago...now unburied
#6 - A lifemate, my wonderful husband. Not only is he all I ever wanted...he is all I ever needed as a husband
#7 - Our second son who is already living in perfect joy with Abba
#8 - KNOWING that I will not forever be separated from him. See you soon Beffer.
#9 - KNOWING that as of a month ago, my wonderfully sweet, kind and loving dad joined him. I often picture them together.
#10 - The blessing of TRUE and close "sisters of the heart". How could I travel without you wonderful women!
#11 - A spiritual foundation, built and fostered over many generations before me and hopefully many after me.
#12 - Children of Abba who are so wonderfully adept at sharing their stories and the lessons they have learned - so those of us less talented can read them and see guideposts along the path.
I know I have a long way to go to get to 1000 (and way beyond I would imagine) but even this small first step has brought raindrops of hope to a very dry and parched soul. I just might even see the beginnings of a new blossom forming........
Kelly, we've never spoken or met, but you are my neighbor (meaning you linked up just ahead of me) at Holy Experience this week. I'm very sorry on the loss of your son and your father. It is a comfort to know the separation is temporary, but the sorrow still cuts deep.
ReplyDeleteBrava and congratulations for taking this step to honor and enjoy God even in the midst of sorrow! May you know to the core of your being the Lord's face shining on you and giving you peace. I'm grateful for the opportunity to share the beginning of this gratitude journey with you.
Much grace and peace to you in Jesus our Savior!
Thank you so much. So happy to start this gourney together! I've determined to take my time. I want to deeply appreciate each gift...not just list a whole bunch of them to make it to 1000 sooner. (A very big temptation for those of us who struggle with being "performance oriented"! Just realized #17! - Everyone's journey is individual but we can still encourage each other! So...hang on...here we go!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Kelly. It will be nice "hearing" you regularly and knowing what's on your mind. That should make our prayers more precise. Love you lots, and looking forward to seeing you in October.
ReplyDeleteThanks, sweetie. Your prayers mean the world to me.
ReplyDelete